A couple months ago, I started checking in with myself to see if I had any unconscious motives around Facebook updates on my business page. I was shocked to realize I did. Me, queen of authenticity!
I continued feeling into this and soon developed a “pause before post” practice, which helps me tune into who’s really posting – my raging ego or my true self.
See, when I hand over my keyboard to my ego, I apply puffery – yes, and pontification! And exclamation points! – to my accomplishments, so I appear bigger than I feel. I’m also tempted to tag others not from a full heart but so I look like one of the cool kids (also known as acting out my inner junior higher). I could go on, but you get my point.
While lots of us enjoy Facebook and how it connects us to others, it also inspires competitiveness, feeling “less than,” etc. Not only do we experience this time and again, it’s a well-research phenomena. I call it Facebook Funk.
Colleague, friend and leadership coach Kristy Swanson wrote about the funk in her post, Keepin’ It Real.
A culture of self-promotion has developed which is more about creating an illusion of success and happiness and manufactured personality, rather than being real, telling the truth, and showing up as who you actually are.
Amen, sista! A culture of self-promotion rings truer than true – we see it, we feel it, we contribute to it, we judge others for doing it.
At the same time, we long to bring our deepest integrity to every interaction, online or off. That’s why, I’ll soon be sharing tools I’ve developed to help you stay firmly in your core self while engaging in social media.
But first, I would love to hear your take on this topic and incorporate your thoughts into the upcoming blog post. Here’s how.
Write a blog post on this topic.
Link to this article, so others can find it. Explore your thoughts and feelings about how you and others use Facebook.
Share your thoughts in the comments.
Do you ever notice a “look at me” motives when you post? Have you ever been pissed about someone’s update and wondered why? How do you handle any negative emotions Facebook evokes for you? Are you a rare wonder girl who has only positive feelings?
Can’t wait to read your posts and comments.
With loads of warmth,
Lynn
{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
Love you as always, Lynn! I do feel that I am who I am in my posts, but at the same time I never air my dirty laundry on Facebook because I feel that for my type business it would be inappropriate–well, that and I just don't like to focus on the bad stuff in general. I definitely have bad days (as you know
, but I typically just post either something "useful" (something I think my connections will appreciate or find value in) or nothing at all on those day. I hope this does not seem horrible and inauthentic…but its pretty much my approach. I would love to hear your thoughts, Chica. xoxo ~Norma
Norma, I love your biz Facebook page, and you do a great job posting helpful stuff for followers. Your Ask the Expert feature is wonderful …. inviting readers to post questions with an expert on hand for answers.
I do think how much personal stuff people reveal online has to do with their type of business, and certainly those who don’t share heaps aren’t inauthentic! Thanks, my dear, for the wonderfulness you bring into our world and to me, too!
Psst … Norma designed this fabulous website on which YOU are reading. Click her name to find her … tell her Power Chicks sent you!
Oh girl, don't even get me started on the Facebook Funk, haha! I have an entire theory about it
Anyway, to answer your questions,-being an introvert, I shy away from self promotion on facebook, much to the detriment of my business development I know, and yes, sometimes (well ok, sometimes quite often) I am irked by posts I see- mostly the vague updates like "ugh, the worst (or best) thing ever thing just happened…" I'm like, just spill the beans already!!! And then yes, I have to deal with my own reaction and let it go, lol 
Tammy, an entire theory about Facebook Funk? Share a wee bit, will you?
It is an interesting thing, social media and introverts. Some seem to love it, because it allows time and quiet for more thoughtful posts while others, not so much. And certainly culturally, there are differences! My Aussie friend told me that it is really, really hard to be promotional on Facebook because that is so looked down on there.
And yes, I can see what you mean about just *spill the beans already.* I had that reaction myself to three *teaser* emails before a big announcement from a company.
Hi, I am not an entrepreneur. I am working on making a wesite to help women entrepreneurs market online. However, just like your two friends, I am introvert and don't like to express any kind of feelings (positive or negative) on Facebook. I care a lot about privacy. But I feel other people, the frequent users, do it most of the time….whatever they are doing, where they are going, with whom they are…So I feel I am missing something, that is, to give a better image of myself. When I do something for others, I fear I might be making mistakes. I wish you can give me some advice as how to improve. Thx
Adeela, thanks so much for chiming in here. Social media is a weird thing … honestly, there is a whole marketing strategy around what people share, or don’t share, how it varies from industry to industry (even gender to gender! Marketing Shebang, my other company, focuses on women and so I am pretty keyed into gender differences.)
Anyway …. as far as advice, keep your eyes out for my next post. So far, I have 5 tips ready to post and am adding a few more.
Thanks again for stopping by, Adeela!
Lynn, as always, you hit the nail on the head. I've been posting less of late as I tried to put my finger on what exactly was bugging me. Reviewing Facebook, while I love seeing what my friends and family are doing, definately leaves me in need of a personal pep talk as I compare myeslf to others. The funny thing is, like you, I KNOW BETTER!
I like your pause before posting practice. I've taken to posting less and if I have second thoughts about anything I posted, I actually delete them. I will write my own blog post on this. Thanks for the reminder.
A closing thought that has kept me sane over the summer:
The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our 'behind the scenes' to everyone else's highlight reel. - Steven Furtick
Kathie, thank you for this. It is SO true isn’t it, the need for the post-Facebook pep talk? I notice it most when I take time away … I log back in and it hits me just how conflicted I feel! I am looking forward to seeing your own post on this topic, because I know you have lots of your own insights to add. Cheers!
Wow just read your post and Kristy's. I deal with this everyday, specially since part of my business is social management. Thanks for the inspiration to write about this! xo
Devani, I would love to hear your take on this topic! You are definitely at the hub of social media and working with a lot of entrepreneurs. Will you blog or post a video on your thoughts?